28 December 2012

Book Revisions, etc.

This morning, a strange thing happened when I was opening my file.  Something unexpectedly quit working in the program I use: "auto-save copy the next time I used the program.  Note to self: remember to make backups.  I don't have the good folks at NaNoWriMo to remind me of this important to-do.  Luckily, I had printed out a copy, I have the copy at Smashwords for another copy.  I will be backing up files once a week from now on.  To continue...

WC Goal 750 Seekers are coming to take Tallulah (POV) to the Temple where she will learn how to use her power to see the future.  A horse from her dreams for two weeks shows up at her door. She thinks the horse is sent to change her destiny, so she rides the horse.  She stops for the night at a Temple.  (Subplot)

Chapter 1

Tallulah stood at the edge of the cave looking out over the canyon.  The air was filled with the scent of sage burning.  She hadn't wanted to go to the school and now...she was being forced to go.  The best of the clan's elders were sitting in a circle behind her.  Now, The scent of tobacco filled the air as she straightened out her bag.  She had shoved things in them when running from the building.  It was then she saw the little horse.

It was standing on the trail leading to the house where she was born.  She shook her head astounded at the sight.  That horse had appeared in her dreams.  She didn't want to acknowledge that horse.  There was a sense of finality about this appearance.  She took a deep breath, let it out slowly.  She looked back at the elders, studying their movements.  She looked to the horse and sighed.

She had taken a tentative step out when the faint movement caught her eye.  There, over the ridge, was a cloud of dust.  That was the Seekers come to get her.  She stiffened.  Gathering her courage, she ran to the horse.  Yes, it was real.  The horse of her dreams was real.  She reached out to touch its nose, to let him smell her scent.  The very second that she got on its back, it raised its head and looked to the sky.

She hung onto its long flowing mane as they moved away from the edge of the canyon.  She Sensed the Seekers thoughts and Felt the energy as it changed direction around her.  How had they known?  Or was it something they always did?  The horse's muscles tensing was all the warning she got; she closed her eyes when it jumped.  Mere moments later, she opened one eye to discover that she was far from home, even further from the Seekers. She laughed at her new found freedom.

The horse was tireless.  He galloped for half the day. She began to feel aches and strain in muscles she didn't know were there.  Her hands had gone past numb, her legs were little logs that kept the fire going all night, her neck and shoulders were frozen blocks of ice when the horse stopped.  He walked to the edge of a lake and it was here that she discovered the true extent of her misery.

The horse drank gallons of water.   He turned his head and winked at her.  Her eyes goggled.  He nudged her leg.  She cried out, clapped her hand over her mouth and moaned at the pain that throbbed from every part of her body, especially her head and legs.  She managed to slide down and lay on the ground next to the horse.

She wondered if her grandparents were getting into trouble.  Guilt had begun to edge its way into her thoughts.  She pushed them away.  She felt the horse breathing on her face and looked up to see his great nose.  Oh no, more riding.

This ride wasn’t as fun and she started to cry.  She wondered where she thought she was going and what was going to happen.  She’d had dreams of this horse taking her somewhere and she didn’t know where because she’d never dreamed the ending.  She’d thought anywhere was better than being where she was.

The horse was slowing to a walk.  She had been trying so hard to stop crying that she hadn’t paid attention to where she was.

A great hill rose before her.  Trees and flowers, lots of them, leaned over in the wind that was blowing much harder.  The sun had gone behind the clouds. The moment they stopped, she got cold.  Goose bumps prickled her skin.  There weren’t any people.  The silence was unnerving.  Tears threatened once again.

“Why have you come?”  A woman in a hooded coat waited for her answer.

“I wanted to ride the horse.”  She clearly didn’t believe her.  Fine time for worrying about it or the Horse.  She was glad to have someone to talk to, even if she was in trouble.

“Now, what will you do?"

“I don’t know.  I’m, I don’t know.”

“First thing you’ve said that makes sense.”

The hooded lady beckoned, Tallulah followed.  Having to wonder about what was going to happen now had begun to bring up some fear along with the guilt.  They walked to a small lean-to where the lady’s finger pointed at the feed bags hanging on a hook near the stall.  She got the food ready and waited for further directions on legs gone numb from sitting.  The lady cleaned him.  She looked for signs of how to address her.  No markings, no decorations on her person.  She should have stayed home.
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Stats Scene 1196 words.   This is about a third of the scene.  The total word count includes the subplot.  Future posts will be broken down for shorter posts.

Questions:   I want to change "Seekers" to something else.  What exactly, I haven't determined.  This word is a placeholder.

Same thing with the placeholder "Temple."

Comments:  I've highlighted parts I think should be changed.  This was originally going to be written in first person.  Changed to third person.

(Subplot) is a note to remind me where I have subplots in the scene or chapters.

2 comments:

Angela Brown said...
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Mildred R Holmes said...
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